Well, let’s just say that my parents never said NO, when it came to my hair and I. Being adopted into a cross cultural family as a 3 month old baby, there were “issues” I had to work through. I thought it highly unfair that my sisters and mom had this straight luscious flowing, wind blowing locks. Why didn’t my hair flip, twist and wave like that? Maybe I just needed to be a bit older I once thought and then it would come into its own.
In the mean time, my parents let me explore who I was. They were great in the sense that they never tried to condition me, they never said you have to choose to be A or B. They just said, “Hey this is life go fourth and explore and if you have any questions or need support we”ll always be here for you”. It is one of things I will forever be grateful for. I have met some other people who were adopted around the same time, into mixed race families and It scares me the way some of these folk think as adults. Thanks, Mom and Dad for letting Cee be Cee and reminding Cee that its perfectly okay to be exactly who you are, even if that is very very different 🙂
So for a couple years, even after I eventually understood that my hair type was different, I wore a pair of stockings on my head, it was for all concerned my “hair”. I’d braid the legs together into plaits or into a super high bun for ballet class. So that my sister and I both had beautiful ballerina buns during class. My sister being one of the seniors who I was always in awe of, watching her twirl in her point shoes. She was the “perfect” ballerina and no one else existed when she danced. At some point though we realized that I could actually braid my hair, and thus fourth came the extensions and braids for the next several years. Twists, Buns, Dreads, Cee had it all!
The older I got though, the more experimental I got with everything I was. I was often described as a Tom Boy, although that term now offends me. Why is it that people need an excuse for a woman, wearing non feminine clothing? And what is “non feminine” clothing? I am very against gender-specific anything including clothing. If guys want to wear nail polish and eye liner than so be it, if I want to buy my shorts in the “mens” section than that’s where you’ll find me.
Anyway, along with my crazy piercings and wild dress sense, I started experimenting with my hair. At first people in my family used the excuse of it just being a “phrase” or maybe I was just being a typical teenager? Lol, I am basically 5 years away from being 30 and I have just begun sweethearts!
I have no idea when it happened but South African woman went from being proudly Ethnic to proudly weave.com I try not to judge as its a personal choice an everyone has their own reasons behind what makes them comfortable. I just find it sad in my own capacity that woman in my country feel the need and also feel pressured to look like the Beyonce’s and Rihanna’s of the world? What happened to appreciating your true self? I know maintenance with ethnic hair is a B^$#&* believe me, I get reminded every morning I wake up and I look like a monster in the mirror. It’s HARD work and its a pain in the ass, but man I feel good in my own skin.
I also feel like sometimes woman with ethnic hair feel they cant do much with their natural hair? Or that there aren’t many styles to work? Ladies, there is so much you can do. I know us in South Africa don’t have hair like our cousins. Our hair does not grow like African Americans, its a different texture and takes almost double/triple the length of time to grow. That aside my hair barely has the chance to grow out before its been shaved into some radical style.
Another point I want to make is that, while you’re comfortable in your weaves, wigs and what not. It does NOT give you the right to put down those of us rocking our natural hair. I am so sick and tired of being out in town and having women walk up to me and ask me when I am “going to do something” with my hair? Excuse you? Or being told that I NEED a weave or that I WOULD look beautiful with extensions? Never mind insulting, just how warped has your vision of “beauty” become and that aside, why do you feel the right to direct or rather subject your opinion on a COMPLETE stranger? Not only is a personal choice, but I have also found that I am allergic to a lot of the synthetic materials used in faux hair. Not that excuses need to be made either, don’t get it twisted sisters.
Lol and now that I have gotten all super serious on you, lets have a laugh at some of the hair styles I have worked over the years.
Let’s not kid ourselves the Mr.T look didn’t last long ha ha ha ha it was one of those, I have nothing to do this weekend, ooh look a hair clipper………..:-)
The 70’s Rocker
The shirt, The waistcoat, The flannel, All I need is a pair of Bell Bottoms and I could bring the 70’s Back.
The White / Grey Highlights
Giving me a glance into what I will look like as the years pass…
The Sea-Side Wave
I still wear this look, don’t judge me….lol
Not available for comment, roflol
Followed I kid you not by the 1/2 T
This was a thing that happened 🙂
The Obligatory Duck Face, With Complimentary Head Feathers 🙂
For the Dragon Ball – Z Fans – The Goku
And last but not least, The No-Hair-Don’t-Care 🙂
This post is NOT about putting ANYONE down. It’s not saying that those of us who choose to wear wigs, or weaves etc are any less beautiful or have made “wrong” choices. That’s not my point. My point is that you need to do what makes you feel beautiful and comfortable, and my concern is that there are many woman out there who have not been given the choice, freedom, and opportunity to just be themselves. There are pressures from different cultures, communities, families, friends, Hollywood and social media.
I give a huge hug to the ladies rocking weaves, and a reminder that you’re beautiful EITHER way. And a huge hug to those of us rocking our natural hair, don’t let anyone put you down for it, don’t let anyone tell you there is something wrong with being you. Own yourself.
And for the day’s your hair just doesn’t wanna work it, I have a lot of fun with head scarves, and wraps!
It’s hair ladies, it grows back. Mine certainly hasn’t had much of a choice over the years lol.
I’d LOVE to hear some of your thoughts and comments in the comment box below, some of the obstacles you have faced and some of the wins you feel you have had. Remember to be kind to each other, we’re here to support each other.
And As Always….